I HAVE PASSED. I WILL GRADUATE, BITCHES!

FINAL FINAL UNI RESULTS IN:

Passed my final genetics exam with flying colours so you can ask me anything you like about the serotonin transporter, Parkinson's or Huntington's (be quick though cos I'll have forgotten it all by next week)!

So, I will DEFINITELY be graduating in July with a BSc (Hons) in Forensic Psychobiology.

Thank fuck for that!

Helen Raw
BSc Hons, ACSFS, MBPsS, AMRSB

:-)

What do you want to be doing?

I had a bit of a rush of shit to the head and wrote this Facebook post.

It's true though. I would also book myself into a fat camp for 6 weeks but we can't have everything ;-)

Joking aside, Mama and Papa Raw always wanted to make sure we were a) happy and b) doing what we wanted to be doing. No major pressure to get 'all A's' it was just 'do your best'.

Baby Raw would save all the animals and run a farm for free and make loads of craft stuff in her spare time if she didn't have bills to pay. I would foster all the animals, help all the new young acting and science students, and act in and produce plays and films for free if I didn't have to worry about bills. 

We are both lucky enough to have found a way to do, as a job, the thing we would do for free if bills didn't need paying.

I know my depression is sometimes a cunt and I know life has sometimes chucked me a load of shite that was just fucking annoying and a bit like Takeshi's Castle without the Japanese people or the fun, BUT on the whole, I'm pretty much doing what I want to be doing, alebit on a very shoestring budget. 

I've had the £30K+ a year jobs and they are not 'all that' if you don't enjoy or believe in what you are doing for the money you are getting every month, trust me on that one.

Crawl Out of Yer Crypt and Have a Bash

Me: "I am going through a shitty divorce process along with bankruptcy proceedings due to said divorce along with trying to work out treatment for depression. My question is: should I sign up for a Certificate in Forensic Science & Medicine right now with no idea what to do next, but maybe a degree?

"People: "Wow, no, Helen, heal yourself first before embarking on such a huge event." (was the general consensus)

Fast forward...

So I decided to ignore their advice and just 'fuck it all to fuck' and do it anyway. I still don't think I was/am/is fully healed from the whole fucked up drama BUT - how the fuck long was I supposed to wait?

I signed up there and then (2009) and completed a Certificate in Forensic Science and Medicine at Edinburgh Uni (2011). So then I thought, fuck it, and signed up for a 4 years Hons Degree in Forensic Psychobiology at Abertay Uni (2012 intake). And moved my entire life 100 miles up the road!

Fast forward again...

I graduate on 7th July this year (2016) with a BSc Hons in Forensic Psychobiology. Grades wise I've had everything from A+ - D+ as my meds have been like a fucking yoyo and there have been times that the only thing getting me out of bed was knowing I had a FUCKING PAPER to submit. 

But I'm still here. Many of my classmates bailed out in first year as they found it too difficult. More bailed out in second year and then even more in third year. I am still here. I may not be getting a 1st - but I didn't bail out. Ever. I stuck it out. 

I am usually an A+ type student however, I have sometimes only managed a range of A to D+ papers. BUT I have still managed to make it through the fog despite all the obstacles. I have never bailed out or admitted defeat. 

Bailing out of Uni would have been the easy option, actually. 

But, I stayed. I am currently working on my final 3 papers, a written and oral presentation and prepping for exams.

I MADE IT THROUGH 4 YEARS OF UNI DESPITE ALL THE ODDS.

All I'm saying is this: if you want to do something, you will. You might not A+ it every time (despite it being your intention), but you will do it. If it means something to you, you will find a reason to crawl out of your crypt and get it done. That crawling is hard. It is SO hard. It is probably harder than the paper you have to write. It makes you resentful for the first wee while and it will possibly be the hardest thing you do all day BUT once you do crawl out, make *the out* mean something. 

I've been there, I'm very often still there yet I did it...You can too. 

PS I still have to contemplate the benefits of crypt crawling, every day x

PPS During all this, I found out that my eye condition is degenerative and I will likely be completely blind within the next 20 years. Amazeballs.