Public Fellation...

Yet more randomness from my dating site chat - seriously, does anyone else get involved in this type of conversation?


FYI - we are no longer chatting...


Initial email:
Bloke:  So dramatic! So intense! So why did your husband leave you? Do you really require those glasses? Are you always wanting to control situations, i'm thinking bedroom antics? i feel if you reply it may be a long one. Oh i'm not on facebook, goodness no!!. I really do work in the caring profession.


Initial response:

Raw:  My husband left me because I refused to fellate him in public and I point blank refused 

to cut his toast into soldiers! Win some, lose some!


The rest of the chat:
Bloke:  It's good to be disciplined and have principals.  I left my previous partner for not cutting my pizza into lovehearts!  Romance is dead.

Raw:  tell me about it...


Bloke:  Nope, your a big girl and you should know by now.  Don't be so glum, we just don't put up with the same crap we did as teens ( well some needy folk do)....thus it's harder to find that special someone.  Your high maintenance?


Raw:  not high maintenance, just appreciate a well placed apostrophe...

Bloke:   Did i make a mistake? Oh dear! English is not my strong point.   You putting on a show for the festival? Raw: Yes, you did. Numerous.  No, not this year. Bloke:  Running methadone clinics daily must be rubbing off on me. Its all that Glasgow drug talk. I apologize for the "numerous" mistakes. What a great start i'm having. I'm sure i just made more.  Do you enjoy correcting people? Raw: I enjoy correcting people on here purely because I talk about it in my profile, therefore I feel I'm allowed!  Do you test the methadone before you hand it out? Bloke:  Well if it massages that ego then its fine with me. The pharmacist hands out methadone. I run clinics in the community and hand out prescriptions. I use councelling skills to motivate the clients.  I was addicted to coco pops once. Raw: OMG I was addicted to Frosties, once. I still go to 'group' now and again. I like porridge now.

Bloke: We all progress to porridge. I like it with honey, reminds me of the sweet tasting choclate milk when hooked on coco pops.  Now i'm craving big time. Need my fix, any suggestions?

Raw:  Haribo Tangfastics?

Bloke: I was thinking of sucking on a juicy lolly.

Raw:  I bet you were