Why Weren't Social Services Called?

Having just had a Facebook chat with my pal about having heard a bunch of primary school kids murdering a Christmas carol, she started getting all sentimental about primary school.

I on the other hand appear to have had a very different experience at Primary School.

Kirsten had lovely school dinners with pakora, baked potatoes and macaroni.

I had packed lunches with pate sandwiches.  PATE.  Fuck sake, any need?  I was 7.  What 7 year old likes pate?  To be fair, my mate flagged up that it may not have been pate but those sandwich pastes you got in wee jars.  EITHER WAY = VOM!  What was wrong with cheese and jam?

Not only did I have to eat sandwiches that no-one would do swapsies with, but I got lumbered with Fine Fare's Yellow Label crisps.  That would be akin to Tesco Value nowadays, but more shit.

It's not really a wonder that there were many beatings!

Someone should have reported my mum!

PS it should be pointed out that Kirsten is 10 years younger than me...yes I know, salt in the wounds!