When Should I Report My Rape?

When it's right for you...

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Jimmy Saville, Gary Glitter, Rolf Harris...

...The list goes on.

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I've never met any of them, although I did write to Jimmy once. I now know why he prob didn't respond - 'too busy with other matters'.

I am a rape survivor and since all this has come out about our 'treasured' TV folks, I've been asked if it makes me want to officially report my rape more than before?

The answer - NO.

I understand that my rapist may well have raped again. I understand that my rapist may well be panicking in case I say something. I also understand that I may mean nothing to my rapist and he may be living his life in peaceful bliss. However, I do hope that he has a daughter.  I do hope that he looks at her every day and prays that she doesn't meet a man like him on her travels. I hope he experiences that pain and dread. Every. Single. Day.

Nothing I do right now will change what happened back then but it WILL change what happens now.

I am in the midst of a 4 year degree - do I really need to be involved in a rape trial?

I have just gotten over (grammar) a hideous divorce and the bankruptcy following that divorce - do I really need a rape trial?

I am, finally, not a basket case - do I really need to be involved in a rape trial?

I am counselling a young rape survivor right now and I haven't advised that she go to the police. I have let her know that it is an option but in her fragile state, a police investigation would be horrific for her.

I think that the more people who understand rape from the 'victim and/or survivor' point of view we have, the better off we will be.

A trial is not the be all and end all. It's like a death in the family. It is something that happens TO YOU. You can't control it, you can't stop it. It just happens.

Rape is about control so all you can do is take that control back.

I may report my rapist when it is the right time for me. I am not waiting for him to become rich or famous, I am merely waiting for me. 

There is no statute on rape. He knows it's coming but it will be when I am ready, not him. This is not about 'waiting to get him at his most expensive/vulnerable/famous' this is about reporting it when it is right for me. I may never report it. Our school reunion could be interesting though...

Most people who legislate about rape have never experienced it and have never had a daughter/niece/sister/mother/brother/son/nephew/in-law who has been a victim/survivor - what the hell do they know?

I have taken back the control.

Control of THIS situation is all I have.