Dishwashers, Dog Bowls and Toilets in Your Living Room

Yes, another mental dream in the world of Raw:

I was in a bar that had beds in it and on one of the beds was Nicolas Cage wearing roller boots (not blades).  I was told to be wary of a new serial killer that was doing the rounds and I assumed it was Cage cos he looked so odd.

It was in fact his normal looking pal.  He sucks blood out of people through their ears and when they start to cry blood, he leaves them alone.

I was walking home and he attacked me.  I felt the blood leaving my body and felt the blood tears in my eyes, but, being me, I survived to tell the tale.  Being a Fifer, I made my way straight to the pub to recover.

I was in a bit of a mood when I arrived in the pub (obviously) and couldn't be arsed with all the Irish lads trying to chat me up so I went home with my new friend.

Their house was very odd.  They had a love swing in the living room (not a rude one, one like Americans have on their porches) and a toilet in the middle of the room.

They kept plying everyone with drink but I just nursed mine as I was a bit dubious about the whole situation.  Then disaster struck.  I really needed a poo.

They all left the living room so I could 'do the business' but reminded me that the toilet didn't work and I'd have to use the dog bowl next to it instead.   I was also to cover it with cat litter when I was finished.

I did the job, with many people coming in and out of the room, and then their youngest was tasked with helping me 'get rid of it'.  We went upstairs to THE TOILET and, after she had stuck her hands in it, she flushed it down the loo.  I couldn't understand why they made people use the loo in the living room when they had a toilet upstairs but the kid just said it was 'cos it's funny'!

We headed back downstairs and what did she do with the dog bowl? Yep, she put it in the dishwasher.  At this point I almost vommed as I remembered the plate of food I'd eaten in the house not 2 hours before...

I made my excuses and left.  Got on a train and, lo and behold, the family were magically on the train too!  I tried to tell my 'crapping in a dog bowl' story to my mates on the train but kept having to change the subject when one of 'the family' walked past.

All in all, a very weird dream...