Valentines Day - It's Not The Plague You Know!

Well, my first V-Day as a divorced woman has passed without a hitch:


i) I woke up at 5am and watched an episode of Alias.  


ii) I wrote up my dreams - both of which would make good short films, god knows what goes on in my brain but let's just say that bodies hanging on walls, a pirate ride, tap dancing and Meryl Streep all featured!


iii) I got up and emptied my new 'Argos £11.99' mini-case from my London weekend and sorted the washing.  


iv) I put the dry washing away and set the dishwasher to have a wee rinse.  


v) I changed my bedding.


vi) I sorted through my 'wedding box' and realised that the only person not to sign my 'wedding card' from my (then) husbands work was the woman he is now with.  It's funny I never spotted that before!  Perhaps he just didn't have the balls to call it off before it got too far - what a twat!


vii) I read over my lines for The Vagina Monologues, before rehearsal at 6pm ish.


viii) I put a facepack on and did my emails.


ix) I phoned Scottish Power to bitch about the shit service and my stupid bill


x) I had a secret text message conversation


xi) I recorded myself reading my monologues


xii) I sorted out Equity stuff


xiii) I left for rehearsals


xiv) Had an awesome time with the ladies talking about fannies and laughing at Dennis reading in parts and me doing Manleens' Indian accent


xv) Gave Emily a lift home


xvi) Ran a bath


xvii) Made my V-Day dinner

Lovely V-Day Dinner

xviii) Typed up this fairly dull blog


xix) Got in the bath after thanking the universe that I didn't have to stress about:

• presents
• mothers-in-law
• holding my stomach in whilst wearing a corset
• wearing stockings
• burning the dinner
• liking Magic.fm
• enjoying Debbie Gibson & Glen Madeiros when the need arises
• liking wine and beer and vodka and Irn Bru
• not enjoying sport and Jesus conversation
• pretending to like what someone else likes
• pretending to be an uncomplicated, dull and boring individua
• embracing the mentalness that is ME!

HAPPY V-DAY ONE AND ALL xxx

it's better to be alone and happy, than in a relationship and miserable :-)