Eyeball Stabbing With a Cuticle Trimmer!

Wow, had THE weirdest dream so far last night!  


I was talking to my mate about this knobhead I used to know and it was decided that I would direct the next play he was due to be in so that he could be told to stop being a knobhead.


I turned up and ended up having to be IN the play as well and had to be 'comedy partners' with a robot dwarf.  That in itself sounds funny but he was really dour and had no personality or sense of humour and he was a nightmare to work with.  Knobhead was horrific so I told him what I thought of him and his attitude and he ran away before I could finish my sentence.  I chased him through a canteen (a cafe not a water container) and then onto a beach.  A bunch of lads I went to youth theatre with back in the day turned up to help me chase him and they were all dressed in identical tank tops and trouser combos.


We lost knobhead so decided to go back to the hotel for dinner (dunno where the hotel suddenly came from).  I went a different way back than the boys and ended up walking down Queensferry Road (Edinburgh) and taking a short cut which meant walking on the grass then squeezing down the side of a building with some other women - it was touch and go wether we would get stuck or not!


I finally made it back to the hotel and was given Clifford and Elizabeths room to change in.  As I was chatting to the women cleaning the room I found a photo of my ex-husband and his new bint.  I asked the cleaners if it was Clifford and Elizabeth.  It was!  OMG!  I told the cleaners who they really were and that they must be up to no good if they'd checked into a hotel using fake names.


'Elizabeth' came back to the room and the look of panic on her face was awesome!  'Clifford' came into the room and tried to stop me telling the cleaning ladies what he was really like.  He said he was going to attack me.  I threatened to stab him in the eyeballs if he did.  He attacked so I stabbed - in the eyeballs with a cuticle trimmer!  He attacked me again so this time I stabbed him in the side with one of those scraper things you use to get hard skin off your feet.


I finished packing my bag and getting changed and then left them to it to go and have dinner with all the folks from youth theatre.


I had beef olives and a glass of Merlot.