"A Guy Would Knock Your Teeth Out" - Best Line From a Dating Site Email...EVER!

I've had a pretty pants day. 

I am working on a project that is almost undoable and unfathomable but, on the upside, I am working with amazing folks.  However, by the time I get home, my brainspace is pretty wasted and all I want to do is collapse.

So, I do a quick check of a few folks on FB (with 1213 friends I don't have time to check the newsfeed, sorry!) and then I decide whether to 

• eat
• have a bath
• respond to my company (Raw Talent) mail and messages.  

There isn't really time to do them all.

Sometimes, however, I just say FUCK IT and decide to have a look to see if I've been sent any Plenty of Fish emails (and then build in time to blog about it...).

I came home to this today:

Johnnyboy1690:  fu ck know wonder your single.....no guy would put up with you without knocking a couple of teeth out, even though your fit that wouldnt be enough. have a nice day. 

Raw: Thank you so much for making contact.

I have taken the liberty of correcting your email. Clearly, your many baseball hats (as seen in your lovely pictures) are all sitting too tightly on your head and cutting off blood flow to the non-Playstation parts of your brain. 

Correction to your original correspondence: "Fuck, no wonder you're single. No guy would put up with you without knocking a couple of [your] teeth out. Even though you're fit, that wouldn't be enough. Have a nice day."

Seeing as you neglected your apostrophes, missed vital punctuation, used 'know' instead of 'no' and refused to use capital letters, it would never have worked out anyway. It's just as well you're not interested.  Have a nice day yourself and thank you again for taking the time to email me. 

Johnnyboy1690:  We'll clearly you have too much time on your hands ! And to fix your mistakes my baseball hats fit nice and snug on my head, And i have not got a playstation.....its a xbox ;-). Maybe one day you will take that thumb out of your bumhole and worry about more important things in life. end of rant.

Raw: Aw, bless.

I'm actually still 'lawling' to myself.  

I've even sent it to another (decent) bloke I'm chatting to on the same site - he also finds it hilarious, thank god!

It has to be said that PlentyofFish.com is giving me so much material for shows, short films and sketches that I've had to put a disclaimer on my profile!

End of profile states: 

• NB: if you send me some sort of knobberish email, you may end up as a Facebook status or as material for my one-woman show. You have been warned - sending shite after reading this is considered permission to have your material used for my own amusement!

Link to my 'fish' profile :-)

Johnnyboy1690 has unwittingly made my night :-)