The pathologist lecturer was brilliant. He told us a story about a call-out he had one night saying a heart had been found and the police needed him to take it away to ascertain the ID of the person it had come from. He showed us a picture slide. He kept referring to the 'heart' but something just seemed odd to me. I remembered the words of our first lecturer last week:
"question everything and if something does not seem right, don't assume the person at the front of the class a) knows everything b) isn't testing you to see how much you are actually taking in."
With these words ringing in my head I slowly, gingerly put my hand in the air. The pathologist stopped talking and pointed to me and our conversation went as follows:
P: Yes?
H: I'm sorry, did you say that was a heart?
P: Yes.
H: It's just it really looks like a chicken breast to me and I see no ventricles to indicate it is a heart. Have they been cut away or are you tricking us?
P: How dare you suggest that I don't know the difference between a heart and a chicken breast.
H: I'm not suggesting that at all, I'm just saying that the picture you are showing us is definitely a chicken breast, albeit a bit of a veiny one so it was probably bought in Lidl
The rest of class (who are police officers and procurator fiscals) were gasping at this point. I was getting decidely red as I didn't intend to offend him...
P: so, are you saying that I have put a picture of a chicken breast on the screen just to see if anyone would question me?
H: Yes.
P: well, you are correct, it is a chicken breast. Now, who else in the class thought it was a chicken breast but didn't have the balls to question it?
A couple of hands went up. Phew, thank god it wasn't just me but apparently I was the only one brave enough to speak up.
I didn't see it as being brave, I just didn't believe it was a heart. I'm not paying all this money to sit quietly and assume that everything they are telling me is true...I am there to question and learn properly for myself.
We were asked to identify the next slide. I put my hand up triumphantly and said "it's an eel".
Nope, it was a blood clot. But it looked exactly like an eel. You can't win em all, not everything is a trick!
However, later in the class, he passed round an 'organ in a jar' and asked us to identify it. I wanted to keep quiet but it's just not in my nature and I don't care if what I say sounds totally tittish! I asked him if it was definitely an organ and he said "yes, why", "well, it looks awfully like a rock fish and I can't think of anything in my body that has a bit that looks like a tail". Some of the class sniggered at me. The jar kept being passed round.
Ha, it WAS a rock fish! How did I know? Cos they have one in Deep Sea World and I recognised it a mile away!
The lecturer was excellent and although the autopsy photos were horrendous to look at and the chat about dead babies, shaken baby syndrome and abuse in babies was severely grim, I have learned more tonight than I ever have reading a Tess Gerritsen book (although I still think she's fab and can't wait for her new one!).
Suffice to say, I am loving the course but I can see from tonight that it is going to get more minging as we go!
I've also asked if I can sit in on an autopsy and have been told that I need to write a letter outlining my reasons why, what my background is and a business case for being involved. Not sure if "I'm an actor and singer and I did a speech on Jack The Ripper in first year and have read everything James Patterson, Tess Gerittsen and Kathy Reichs have ever written and I want to write a script about a SOCO and a criminal profiler that is accurate to Scotland" will be enough to swing it but I'm gonna bloody well try!
Roll on 'Blood Spatter' week :-)
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