Jim'll Fix It! Oh No He Fecking Won't

So, I was in Primary 7 at Camdean Primary School and Jim'll Fix It, Blue Peter and Take Hart were THE shows to try and get on.  

I never did get a Blue Peter badge, despite learning to draw and write upside down in the hope that one day I would be one of the presenters.  I was shit at making things out of kitchen roll holders and I used to get 'the rage' when they would show you the 'one they had prepared earlier' cos mine never looked anything like it.  I'm still a bit like that now with Neil Buchanans Art Attack (smug git).  Let's not even talk about how hard it was to get a sodding collage stuck up in Tony Harts Gallery...

I never got a birthday card read out on Glen Michaels Cartoon Cavalcade and I never managed to get through to Noel Edmonds on Saturday Swap Shop.

Jim was my last hope.

But, I had competition.  Steven Rogers decided that he too would write to Jim to have something fixed for him.  We didn't tell each other what our 'thing' was and we both started writing.

We wrote a letter a week.  Steven Rogers got a response after week 3.

I was slightly jealous but it gave me hope.  Maybe my letter would be next, my 'fix it' was so cool.

Week 14.  I got to watch Steven Roger get fixed by Jim.

Fuck sake - I've never seen anything so lame in my life.  He was 'passing the dochie on the lef han side' with Musical Youth.

I waited 14 twatting weeks for THAT.

Week 21.  Still nothing from Jim.

Week 52.  Still nothing from Jim.

Apparently, asking to be April in The A-Team was just too much for him.

I got lines from the headteacher for punching Steven Rogers in the face after he came into school and rubbed his shitty little (actually made of cheap tin) 'Jim Fixed it For Me' badge in my face.

Jimmy Saville is shit and Steven Rogers can kiss my arse.