Apparently, getting a quote for car insurance when you haven't been on your OWN policy for over 2 years means that you lose any no claims discount so my 17 years of claim free driving mean fuck all. My ex-husband insisted that 'as he was the man in the household' (debateable given recent events) the insurance should be under his name and I be added as a 'named driver'. Therein lies the answer to my fucked up situation and total bumming from the insurance thieves.
I have now been on the phone to Direct Line, Tesco, Sheilas Wheels, Royal Bank and Shaft You Right as well as the meerkat sites and each ask the same things when you tick the 'entertainment industry' box:
- are you famous?
- do you train famous people?
- will you be having famous people in your car to give them a lift?
- have any of your films been nominated for an Oscar?
My responses are always:
- have you ever heard of me?
- if you answered 'no' to the above, do YOU think I train famous people?
- I drive a smart car - do you honestly think even Jimmy Krankie would accept a lift in a smart car?
- hahahahahahahahahahahahaha
I finally decided to go with Tesco as they shafted me slightly more gently than the others - look at Alliance & Leicester's quote - any fucking need?? You'd think I was an 18 year old heroine addicted boy racer with a zupped up Fiat Panda with 6 boom boxes in the back and 17 exhausts!
 | £2,220.23 | Deposit: £222.05 Instalments: (9 x £244.22) Total: £2420.03 |
Couldn't make it up - been driving for 17 years with no claims (not zero accidents, just zero claims!) and I get married for 55 twatting weeks and suddenly am being quoted £2,220 smackerfuckingroos for insurance for doing less than 5,000 miles a year!
It makes you want to punch someone in the face!
Panic not, Tesco were not this bad. Even so £370 is a bit steep - I lost the 15% internet discount cos I dare to work in entertainment without being famous or rich...
I have spent so long fart arsing about with these companies that I haven't even prepped for tomorrow - thank god for insomnia cos I'll at least be productive.
OH, and I updated my mobile phone insurance now I finally have a new iPhone but it turns out that it takes 2 weeks for them to do their job and make the policy 'active'. I asked "but what do I do if my phone is nicked again within the next 2 weeks?". The answer, which had me actually 'argh' down the phone was "well, that would be unlucky". Who are these bollocky fuckturds?
Right, I've ranted now I'm going to fuck off and pick up Jimmy Krankie.
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