Chavs in Leith and Massive Tellies

So, after managing to doze off again at 5.30am (after listening to weird baldy beardy hypno bloke), I finally got a bit more sleep but as usual, it was interrupted with another ridiculous dream - 2 mental dreams in one night, surely that should get me in Norris McWhirters big book of shite?

Anyway:

In my divorce, I acquired £10,000 worth of audio/visual equipment (my dream divorce - in my actual divorce I acquired depression and a Wotsit addiction):

• a massive 50 inch telly
• a DVD player
• a Sky+ box
• a music system (that looked like a sound desk cos it had so many bits to it)
• a double cassette player (I know, don't ask...)
• a CD player
• and many, many, many speakers.

I decided I didn't have space to store this amazing gear, so did what any normal person in their right mind would do. I set it up outside the community centre in Leith for ANYONE TO USE.

It had been there for about a year when I decided that I would take it back and have it at home.  I sat for a bit watching the telly, on an old couch that had been put in front of it, and was minding my own business (eating a Greggs chicken roll?!) when a bunch of chavs turned up and started were dismantling it and loading it into a van.  

I went mental a) because I was watching a programme and b) that was it really, mainly cos I watching a programme!  They said that as it was outside, it belonged to anyone who wanted it.  I started punching them and was generally having an epi fit. Yelling something about it being the only thing I got in my divorce and was I buggery gonna let a bunch of chavs nick it after I'd been so kind (stupid) as to let them use it for a year anyway.  I phoned the police.

That woman with the perm out of 'The Gentle Touch' turned up and told the boys to put my stuff back but they told her to piss off and tried to run her over.  This is when the man who unblocked my phone last week turned up and gave them a talking to.  With him and 'perm woman' on their back, they unloaded the stuff, eventually.

My mate Paul (who can't drive) turned up on a motorbike and told me that cos I'd done his mates a favour 2 years ago, they were going to turn up in their van and bring my stuff home.

While I was waiting for Pauls A-Team to pitch up, a wee kid was trying to record his own voice with the cassette player and a female chav was asking me what my favourite Greggs sandwiches were...

And that my friends, concludes my dreams for the evening.

NOTE: I've just remembered that at some point during the dream, I was in some random house and I saw my pals Simon (with a pony tail!?) and Nina.  Nina was being sick in the toilet and Simon was bitching about shit coffee.  No idea where in the dream that fitted...